Dec 30, 2010

Itsy bitsy posting

I am Big Mac-less for now so this is an attempt to post while using an iPod Touch tactile screen keyboard. I am sensing a haiku may be more sensible in such circumstances.

So here goes.

Tomorrow this long year ends.
Unlike it began.
With a job and snowy home.

Ah, you gotta love the Japanese and their knack for inventing pointless things. But seriously. What a year it's been. As soon as I stop this phase of keyboard regression I will reminisce with you appropriately. In the meantime I will attempt to enjoy my last 48hrs in Paris instead of bringing myself down by dreading the drive back to the land of snow, chocolate and complex garbage rules.

Dec 25, 2010

Big Mac

I did it.  I made the switch.

Although really the active voice isn't entirely accurate in this context.  I didn't make the switch.   The switch was made.  And now I have a Mac.  A big one.  With a little tiny keyboard.  But hey, I'm not size-ist or anything.

First impressions: it's pretty.  Really pretty.  And really big (except for the keyboard).  So very big and very pretty.  Good.

But honestly... what does it actually DO that my PC didn't?!  And where's the damn delete key?

And now I hear the pillaging armies of Granny Smith converts in uproar, ready to tear me limb from limb for this act of blasphemy.

Sorry.  I will get used to it eventually, I'm sure.  But any chance I can get a non-Lilliputian keyboard?!

In the meantime, here are a few photos to entertain you with, since photos do look rather cool on my gigantic Mac screen (what, you don't have a gigantic Mac screen? What are you people waiting for?!)

Merry Christmas everyone, may it bring you all lots of teddy bear cuddles...

PS: Anyone know why my Big Mac beeps at me ever twenty minutes?

Dec 20, 2010

Stranded in der Schweiz

Hmmm, time to update the blog, must find fascinating things to say, juicy morsels of Swiss-ness with which to entertain my friends who worry (rightly, I fear) that much like Alice I have disappeared down the rabbit hole... Must not let on that life is in fact about as exciting as an overcooked turnip and that, despite all the coolness associated with the job at CoolCo Sub, at the end of the day I live in Switzerland, and I don't know anybody, and it snows all the time and things are therefore toe-numbingly DULL.

But, let's work with what we've got and see how we go.

So, first off, I found an apartment.  I share it with the only person I know in the city, another ex-INSEADer, who travels all the time and whom I therefore never see.  Except for this past weekend, which was spent together building IKEA furniture in an intense flatmate bonding experience.

The apartment is perfect, large, bright, centrally located, and right next door to a brothel.  That's the Swiss for you.  You get slapped about if you don't tie up your cardboard for recycling on the right day, but there's nothing wrong with men lining the sidewalk to ogle half-naked women prancing about behind a window (and me, mostly clothed and prancing about in my living room - hence the urgent purchase of curtains).

So that's the living situation.  The work situation I'm starting to get a handle on, which is a good thing since I have two new recruits starting next month.  I figure, in this my first role as "the boss", it's best that I have some idea of what I'm doing before I start telling them what they're supposed to do.  I'm not quite there yet, and half hoping for a Christmas revelation.  Either that or some elaborate bluff à la Ocean's 11.

As for the social situation, well, folks, let's face it, it's rather dire.

So far, all of my extra-curricular activities have fallen under one of the following categories:

1) Work outings.  Nothing wrong with that, of course, but there are ten of us at CoolCo Sub so at some point I will have to expand my social circle somewhat.  Besides, I can't shake the feeling that the nine others view me, "the Lawyer", with more than an ounce of suspicion.  It's a good thing I'm getting backup.

2) Time spent with the Boy.  As friends.  Because I'm a masochist.

3) Attempts at making friends at expat events.  Where I don't know anyone.  Where I drink too much (very expensive) wine to hide how nervous I am.  Where everyone is male.  And desperate for female company.  And just about ready to keel over as soon as I mention CoolCo.  And subsequently interested only in my breasts and the latest CoolCo media frenzy, not necessarily in that order, neither topic holding any kind of particular fascination for me.

So, not much of a social life really.  Which means I should at least be exercising but of course I've been too busy building flatpack bookshelves and drowning my frustrations in Swiss chocolate to actually join a gym.


Thank goodness for Christmas and the long drive home to Paris.

Dec 13, 2010

We have a pulse

I am alive.

I have not been gobbled up by a giant piece of cheese.

I have not been shat on by a monstrous Swiss milk chocolate cow.

I have not been shipped off in a box to Qatar to tell them what's what.

I have, however, been sans internet from the date of last posting to, well, five minutes ago.  The internet/digital-tv fixit man has just exited stage left, along with his wall-to-wall butt-crack, leaving in his wake.... THE INTERNET!

It is a beautiful thing.  So beautiful, in fact, that I wonder how on earth I managed those first eighteen-odd years of my life when I had never even heard of the great big web across the whole wide world.

I promise to post loads and loads in the coming weeks to make up for my unforgivable absence, and give you the detailed skinny on my life this side of the Alps, the heartaches, the stomachaches, the headaches, and the snow.  And some good stuff as well. 

But first I need to answer about 50 facebook messages...